Monday, March 12, 2012

Working thru the Darkness.

I remember even as a child that the dark was scary, but once the sun came out everything was OK. That is why we need to wake up. The scary things we leave them in the dark and try to bury them there, but in reality we are burying ourselves. We must break the seal on the coffin and bring our fears into the light. Then we can see they are not evil and we can change what we do not like into something better.

Left in the dark our fears multiply until they take us over creating actions that we would not consciously do. We must expose our demons. We created them we can change them. Do not shove them back in the dark because you know you have other fears and feel overwhelmed. Keep exposing them all to the light and you will see that you do grow stronger.

Wake up that is the only way to defeat the nightmare.

Are you so drenched in the nightmare that you think it is who you are? If you don't protect it you will lose you?

You are NOT the nightmare.

You are the light. You are the light. You ARE the light.

I have friends I have watched who started to wake up I could read the fear in their eyes. I know that fear I went thru it. I still do. I have packed the dark storage room very tight but I must push on. I have watch friends cower in fear some keep moving forward trip back and pick up and start again. I have watched some cower and absolutely freak out only to stick their heads in the sand trying to go back to sleep. And they tell me to stop the crazy talk but they know I am right they can never truly go back to dead sleep and they are terrified. They think if they stop looking it will all go away. But it doesn't and they know it, but they pretend their OK, try their best to look normal. But I see thru it I see their pain. I feel their pain. I will not cower. I will bring my fears into the light until they are all out in the open.

I have heard some say that I belly flop back and forth and that I appear wishy washy. People are confused by that and think oh she really doesn't have it all together see she is freaking out about something again she is not the calm loving person she tried to make us believe.

But they do not understand how much we hide in the Shadow how much we need to bring back out into the light. If you watch me carefully you will see how it works. I bring out a fear. I bring it into the light so I can examine it, see what is really there. See what must be changed. What must be accepted. Look for lessons to be learned from it.

I take a fear and create an accomplishment.

I grow stronger. I grow brighter. I become better equipped to deal with the next fear I drag from the box. Some are harder then others. But each thing I bring up makes me stronger. So pity me not when you see me seeming to wonder off the deep end. I am growing. I am learning. I am learning love for myself and all those who are here in this experience with me. I am learning who I am and why I am here. And aren't those the questions everyone has?

You hear someone say 'oh, so and so is off to find themselves'. But are they looking outside themselves for the answer? It can only be found inside themselves. It truly is a vision quest and I must delve into the darkness to retrieve me so that I can live in the light.

Sometimes I pull out a fear and find other fears attached to it, like a long strand of beads. Upon examination I realize they have little to do with each other but they are attached to similar experiences. This can explain the confusion that surrounded the fears making it harder to process together as one, but laid out where each one is exposed, in the light, they can be seen and release the binds that hold them together.

I have learned that hoarding those fears make us physically ill. I have watched my health rise as fears are neutralized. I grow not only spiritually stronger but physically stronger as well. And I see our choices of death we pick are in harmony with how we lived. How we pick by how we believe. Life and death are complementary indeed.

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